


I want to see you fly again

by orphan_account



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Blow Jobs, Hand Jobs, M/M, Oral Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-08
Updated: 2014-11-10
Packaged: 2018-02-24 13:58:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2583842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kageyama hasn't played volleyball since his feelings for another member of his team grew to be too much for him to handle. Now, he finds himself confronted by that player he did his best to get away from, and all those unwelcome feelings are coming back to him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer of sorts: It's very difficult to find information on Japanese volleyball tournaments in English. Sorry for anything inaccurate or unrealistic, in case you happen to know about this particular tournament more than I do. 
> 
> Also, despite having read 90 chapters of volleyball manga, I still know nothing about how volleyball is actually played. So there's relatively little volleyball action. Sorry!
> 
> Anyway, I wanted to write something kind of angsty. This'll probably be two or three chapters, so here is the first!
> 
> (Also, I hope this is not *too* angsty. I am a little worried about that. Let me know, maybe?)

The train moves speedily and nearly soundlessly on its tracks. Kageyama had been worried it would be snowing and the trains wouldn’t be running at all, but the skies were clear today. Maybe it’s a sign that he’s meant to be there.

He never really believed in signs.

This could still be a bad idea.

After all, it’s been a year since he had anything to do with volleyball.

Still, the train doesn’t know that, and it carries him ever-closer to the All Japan Intercollegiate Volleyball Championship. That’s the only thing the train knows how to do, after all. It can’t be blamed if he’s making a mistake.

He clutches tightly at the strap on his messenger bag, feeling more anxious with every passing minute. He doesn’t know what kind of feelings watching those teams play will bring up. What kind of memories, good or bad.

He’s not sure which prospect he fears more. The good or the bad.

All he knows is that in high school, volleyball slowly started becoming painful for him. Seeing that smiling face every day. That relentless demand: “One more toss!” That red hair, which would have only just brushed up under his chin. All these things, coming down to a point: Hinata Shouyou.

The reason Kageyama quit volleyball.

It’s been a year since he last played volleyball, and a little less than that since he last spoke to Hinata. He’s heard it takes a year to get over losing someone. Not that he lost Hinata. He cut him out.

The reason for his anxiety is likely… Hinata might be at this tournament.

But then, dozens of others will also be there. It would be impossible for Hinata to outshine them all.

Then again, maybe it depends on who was watching.

XXX

The gymnasium is huge—bigger than the ones from any of the tournaments Kageyama has ever played in. There are booklets by the door, outlining the teams and the players. This is the largest amateur sport event in Japan, so it’s an impressive document. He flips through it with mild curiosity as he walks up the steps, nearly colliding with several people. There sure are a lot more fans here than there ever were at his tournaments, but he supposes there could be a few reasons for that. One, it’s in Osaka, so there are just generally more people. Two, college level volleyball is likely to draw in more attention simply because the players are more skilled.

He pauses at the top of the stairs leading up to the seating area so he can flick through the booklet. From here, he can hear the sounds of sneakers squeaking against the waxed gymnasium floor, the yells of the players as they call out to each other as they warm up. It’s having a stronger effect on him than he would have imagined. His heart is beating faster, and his palms are slightly tacky with sweat. But at least it makes it easier to turn the pages, since they’re sticking to his fingers.

He does his best to ignore what he’s thinking.

Until, as he turns a particular page, he catches sight of a familiar name.

Kozume Kenma.

That’s almost enough to give him a heart attack, but he narrowly manages to swallow the sudden surge of emotion.

Until, three lines down, another.

This time it does stop his heart.

Hinata Shouyou.

Kageyama’s eyes flick up to the name of the university. Tsukuba. He flips to the back of the booklet, where the champions of the last 10 years are listed. They won, two years ago, three years before that, and one year before that. They’re a good school.

He stays frozen in that position at the top of the stairs for a long time. People keep coming up, excusing themselves to push past him, since he’s kind of in the way. Somewhere, a thought dies in the back of his mind that he should move, that he should move _down_ the stairs and away from this place. That he should go back to Kyoto and never think about volleyball or Hinata Shouyou again. Staying here while knowing Hinata is here will only bring up the things that he’s tried for a year—no, longer—to push back down inside him. Unacceptable thoughts, feelings, desires.

But despite that…

Despite that, Kageyama still loves volleyball.

And despite knowing it’s probably the worst idea he’s ever had, Kageyama wants to see Hinata play one more time.

XXX

“Is it okay if I sit here?”

Since Tsukuba has a good team, the seats on their side of the gymnasium are almost full. There are only two available that he could see. One of them was behind a bunch of people wearing Tsukuba shirts who had noisemakers and were standing up. It would be impossible to watch from there.

The other is next to a girl in the front row. She’s got short black hair, which is pulled into pigtails. She almost reminds Kageyama of Yachi.

“Yeah, no problem!”

Kageyama picks him out immediately. It’s impossible not to, with that hair of his. He pulls his scarf up around his face and tugs his hat down more over his hair. It would be awful if he were recognized. But from here, in this much clothing, he’s sure he won’t be. It’s a little too warm, actually, but he’s willing to put up with it for the sake of keeping the fact that he was ever here out of the realm of Hinata’s knowing.

His heart, instead of beating faster, like it was earlier, seems to be going slower. As if he’s in slow motion.

On the court, though, it’s anything but that.

Hinata’s just as speedy as ever. Not that he’s showing off his full potential when they’re just warming up, but Kageyama can tell he’s itching to run, to jump.

He’s fixated, watching with a jealous fascination, trying not to take it all in without thinking about it.

The girl at his side speaks up, suddenly. “Are you a fan of volleyball?” she asks.

Kageyama normally isn’t interested in making small talk with strangers, but in this case, he thinks maybe it’ll be a good thing. Maybe she can distract him. “Yeah,” he answers, realizing belatedly that he hasn’t given her much to go on for continuing the conversation. But he also isn’t too interested in sharing all the details of his past.

Luckily, she seems to have more to say. “I only got into it myself around October, but I think it’s really interesting! Though I still don’t know all the rules.”

Even if Kageyama would like to talk to this girl, he remembers he isn’t at all good at small talk. He nods in response to her, unsure of what to add himself. She probably doesn’t even see it. She’s focusing intently on the court below them.

“I go to Tsukuba, so I thought I’d come out and support the team. Are you in school?”

“I go to Kyoto Prefectural.”

“Ohh, that’s so close! It must have been nice. Tsukuba is so far! I had to come down yesterday. I’m exhausted from the travel, but I’m ready to be invigorated by volleyball!” Her hands are balled into fists. She’s cute. Suddenly, she looks at him. “I’m Tamara Naomi, by the way.” She sticks out her hand.

Kageyama takes it. “Kageyama Tobio.”

“Oh, it looks like they’re starting, Kageyama-kun!”

The players are lining up, and the referee is in position. Kageyama’s heart os still beating eerily slowly. The whistle blows, and the players get into position. The other team is serving first, and he realizes he hasn’t even looked at who they are. He doesn’t dare to look away from the first serve to check the booklet. “Who are you playing?” he asks Tamara instead.

“Rikkyo,” she answers. “I don’t know if they’re strong or what. I guess we’ll find out.”

The serve goes to the outside hitter in the back. It looks fast, and decently powerful, but it’s fairly direct, and the player receives it cleanly, sending it over to the setter. Kageyama realizes for the first time that it’s Kozume. He hadn’t recognized him at first, since his hair is now the dark brown color his roots had been throughout most of high school. His hair is also longer now, and it looks like he’s keeping it out of his face with a headband like Asahi had once worn. It likely isn’t long enough to pull back.

The toss goes up, and Hinata is there. Flying.

Just as Kageyama had thought, he’s faster. He jumps higher. The ball slams down on the other side of the net. Rikkyo’s blockers didn’t even jump. Kageyama recognizes their floored looks from dozens of matches he’s played with Hinata.

But still.

He can’t help but think, he’s given Hinata better tosses. Tosses that led to spikes that lead to even more baffled looks from their opponents than that.

And he feels proud of that. Proud and satisfied.

And then, he feels a little sick. Pride and satisfaction are nothing to get excited about when your crush on your best friend ruins them both for you.

All these thoughts happen within half a second, leaving Kageyama with a sudden heavy feeling in his stomach, until the next second when Tamara suddenly stands up and screams. Her yell is no louder than the cheering Tsukuba fans to the right of them, but coming from a girl who had been relatively calm up until the moment before, it startles Kageyama. “YEAH, SHOU-CHAN!”

‘Shou-chan?’

That can only be one person.

“You know that spiker?” he asks.

Tamara smiles and turns to him. “Well, yeah. It’s kind of embarrassing, but he’s my boyfriend.”

Hinata’s girlfriend.

That’s who he’s sitting next to.

Kageyama swallows. “Oh. Congratulations, he’s very skilled.”

“Yeah, he sure is!”

XXX

Tsukuba wins the first set 25 to 18, and the second 25 to 21. During the whole match, Kageyama’s thoughts are swirling. They bounce between recollection of his high school days, and the matches he’s played together with Hinata, to intensely analyzing Kozume’s decisions, as well as the movements and skill level of the other players, to Tamara, Hinata’s girlfriend.

And though he wants desperately to hate her, he finds he’s sort of relieved. Like maybe with this, he can finally let go, because there is no possible way Hinata would ever choose him. He finds himself telling her about the things that are happening in the match—all about the serves, and the positions, and of course, the tosses and spikes. She’s eager to hear all he has to teach, and grateful, too, it seems. He vaguely wonders why Hinata hasn’t taught her more, and has to resist asking how long they’ve been together, among other too-personal questions.

So he is a little relieved, but still mostly in agony.

The second match Tsukuba plays is against Osaka University of Commerce. Tsukuba is strong. There’s no denying that. Stronger than Kurasano had been, even in Kageyama’s third year. But Kageyama thinks—feels—that if he had kept playing with Hinata, if it was him out there instead of Kozume, they would be even stronger.

But realistically, his skills have probably deteriorated over a year of not using them. And besides that, Kozume is still doing a great job. And Hinata smiles at him every time he tosses to him.

Kageyama remembers the times he had been the cause of that smile. The private rush he had felt from enabling Hinata to score for the team. The way his happiness seemed to radiate off of him and infect Kageyama with excitement for the next point.

They play a full set, but ultimately win against Osaka as well. In their third and final match of the day, they beat Meiji, taking the second and third sets. They will move on to the next day of the competition.

Tamara claps loudly at the close of Tsukuba’s third match, yelling praise for Hinata for a game well played as they bow to the other team. When they stand up, Kozume tugs on the sleeve of Hinata’s jersey and points up—exactly where Kageyama and Tamara are sitting. Kageyama hurriedly pulls his scarf up even higher on his face and looks away. He doesn’t see what kind of expression Hinata has. He hopes he hasn’t been recognized.

“Hey, you should come down with me to talk to him! I want to introduce you! I’m sure Shou-chan would love to meet a guy who is also so passionate about volleyball!”

“I don’t really think—”

But she’s already grabbed his sleeve and is pulling him towards the stairs.

“Tamra-san, it’s important for them to cool down—I wouldn’t want to interrupt—”

“Shou-chan won’t mind, don’t worry.”

He throws several more excuses at her, but her grip on his sleeve is tight. He can’t pull away. He can’t be rude to Hinata’s girlfriend.

He also feels like he can’t face Hinata, for the first time in a year.

But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to.

They make it to the first floor, and soon they’re through the doors to the floor of the gymnasium. And the court is drawing closer and closer. And Kageyama’s heart is still beating slowly. It seems to be slowing to a stop.

When they approach the court, Tamara calls out to him, and Hinata turns.

There’s a moment where his face was expressionless, looking for the person the voice had come from. His gaze lingers on Tamara, then shifts to Kageyama.

He breaks into a grin. “You came!” he says.

But Kageyama swears that was directed not at Tamara, but at…him.


	2. Chapter 2

_He must be talking to his girlfriend_ , Kageyama thinks. He’s sure of it.

But then Hinata runs forward and hugs him.

Tamara has a scary look on her face, suddenly. “Y-You know each other?” she asks.                     

Hinata lets go of a frozen solid Kageyama, whose scarf has been dislodged by the sudden hug. He’s too confused to breathe, or think, so he just stands, like a human popsicle, between them. “Yeah, this my boyfriend,” Hinata says.

Kageyama twitches.

_Excuse me?_

_What the hell?_

_What in the fresh fucking hell?!!_

_Dumbass Hinata, what are you doing???_

He’s solidly staring at Tamara, who has gone red and looks very angry. “Sh-Shou-chan, I can’t believe you! You know I came all the way down here just to see you play?”

“Tamara…” Hinata says, sounding nervous. Kageyama still isn’t daring to look at him. Likewise, Tamara isn’t looking at Kageyama.

“Fine, have fun with your _friend_.” She says the last word very pointedly, further confusing Kageyama. “I’ll text you later and we can talk about your behavior. Honestly, I don’t know why I put up with you.” She is still very red when she turns around and leaves the gymnasium in a hurry.

Hinata huffs, sounding a little relieved. “Sorry about that, she’s kind of…stal—WHOA, YOU’RE—K-KA-K-KAG—” He continues to stutter over Kageyama’s name.

“Sorry, I’ll be leaving now,” Kageyama manages to say quietly.

Hinata catches the back of his shirt as he’s making an attempt to escape. “Kageyama, don’t you dare!” Suddenly he’s not stuttering.

Kozume comes over now, perhaps also having recognized him, which makes him want to escape even more.

“Shouyou, are you okay?” Kozume asks, making Kageyama feel like some sort of criminal.

“Of course I am! Kageyama just saved me from Tamara. Yeesh, I didn’t think she’d actually follow me all the way out here…”

“Hm. Well, you’re shouting a lot.”

“Sorry, Kenma!”

Kozume goes back to the rest of their team, and Hinata stays, staring at Kageyama’s back.

“Kageyama.”

He doesn’t answer. He doesn’t know what he could possibly say.

“Kageyama, toss to me!”

That’s something he thought he’d never hear again. “No.”

“Haah? Why not?! Don’t be stingy!”

“Because I quit volleyball!”

Hinata’s quiet for a minute, and Kageyama thinks about escape again. But he’s glued to the spot. “Fine, then go for a walk with me.”

He tries to think of an excuse, but all his thoughts are rushing in and out of the front of his mind, making him dizzy. He can’t pick any of them out and focus on just one. He knows Hinata’s waiting for an answer. “Fine.”

“Great! Let me just go get changed. Don’t run away, you asshole!” He rushes back to his team, telling Kozume where he’s going, Kageyama guesses.

It’s funny how Hinata told him not to run away when he was thinking of doing just that. He still knows him that well after all this time.

Not wanting to be under the questioning, critical gaze of Kozume and Hinata’s other teammates, he goes to wait outside the men’s locker room.

Hinata still asked him to toss for him. Did he…miss Kageyama’s tosses? Kozume was definitely a skilled setter, but every setter was also different.

He missed Hinata hitting his tosses.

He missed volleyball.

Maybe it was his desire to move beyond this incredible feeling of sadness he had toward the past that motivated him to stay. Maybe he could somehow get closure from this encounter, and move on.

Hinata changes fast, and he’s out again in five minutes, bundled up in a coat and a scarf of his own. “Come on,” he says, punching Kageyama on the arm with just a little bit more force than he probably means to. Or maybe it’s less than he meant to, and he’s still upset about what had happened in their third year of high school, right before the spring tournament.

_“You can’t quit. I won’t let you. I’ll drag you to practice every day if I have to.” Hinata’s face was determined, but under that, Kageyama could see the pain of betrayal._

_“There’s nothing about ‘letting’ me quit. It’s my decision, not yours.”_

_“Kageyama, you dumbass! You can’t just quit without giving any sort of reason. Not when we’ve got a chance to win this!” The betrayal was leaking through Hinata’s eyes, starting to well up in the form of tears._

_Kageyama clenched his fists. “Fine, you want a reason? I don’t want to fail all my damn classes. Volleyball is for kids, and we’re not kids anymore. I want to go to school and get a real job and stop messing around with stupid brats like you. Maybe you should reconsider your priorities too, before you waste your whole life on a stupid club sport.”_

_Hinata lunged at him, punching him squarely on the cheek. Kageyama staggered backwards and fell, touching his face. Hinata pinned him, knelt over him even as he was crying. He was poised to hit him again. “I don’t believe you,” he said solemnly._

_“Then you’re even stupider than I thought.”_

_Hinata looked at him for a minute before punching the floor with a too-hard sound. He gave Kageyama one last look before stepping off of him and running off for good._

“I’ve gotten taller!” Hinata says.

“You seem the same to me,” Kageyama replies, surprised at himself for making such a careless remark.

“What?! Maybe it’s just cuz you got taller too!”

“I’m 184 centimeters now.”

“I’m 166… We grew the same.” He sounds kind of pissed off. “Well, it’s a tie then!”

“Dumbass, we’re not still doing that!”

“Sure we are! We’re going to do it until I have a chance to beat you for good!” Hinata is remarkably familiar for not having spoken to him in a year.

It’s putting Kageyama at ease, which consequently worries him. “You’re as stupid as ever.”

“So are you!” Hinata grins.

There’s a bit of a silence. Before it can get uncomfortable, Kageyama says, “You were really good today.”

This launches Hinata into a long rambling about all of his new teammates. Kozume, he knows, of course, but he doesn’t know all the ways he’s improved and all the cool attacks they’ve come up with. Well, he sort of does, because he was watching the game, but Hinata tells him about them in greater detail—things maybe he wasn’t able to pick up from where he was sitting.

They talk about the games Hinata played for a while, and it’s not as uncomfortable as Kageyama imagined it would be. It feels like it did in their first year of high school, when he wasn’t sure of his feelings for Hinata and everything was just about volleyball, with a side of school. The only difference now is that Hinata is more skilled. Perhaps the most shocking thing about him is how much he’s evolved as a player. Even without Kageyama’s toss, he’s still able to wield that much power on the court. Even as a first year, he’s on the team, after all.

It occurs to Kageyama after a while that he doesn’t know where Hinata is taking him, and he thinks to finally ask.

“Oh, I’m hungry so we’re going to get barbeque. We went to a place for dinner yesterday. It’s really good.”

Kageyama’s stomach growls on cue. “Okay.”

“You should treat me because I won!”

“Buy you own food! I’m not your mother!” _Or your boyfriend._ Speaking of which, something is still bothering him. “Hey, Hinata…”

“Hm?”

“Who was that girl earlier?”

He laughs a little nervously. It’s an unusual sound to hear from Hinata. “Tamara Naomi. She’s… I guess she’s kind of…stalking me.”

Kageyama’s eyes widen and he looks down at his former teammate in shock.

“It’s not a big deal! She’s not a bad person! It’s just…we went on one date and I guess she really liked me and is also apparently kind of like… ‘Wuahh!’” He makes a vague flailing motion with his hands that Kageyama supposes means she’s unstable.

“She told me she was your girlfriend.”

“Ehh?! Tamara…” He sounds exasperated. Kageyama isn’t quite sure what to make of this, but he feels strangely relieved.

“What was with that ‘boyfriend’ comment, anyway?”

“Ah, well, I panicked. I didn’t even recognize you at first.”

“If you didn’t recognize me, how did you know I would even go along with it?! Dumbass Hinata!”

“Shut up! It got her to go away, didn’t it?”

They argue about it for a little while before Hinata finally convinces Kageyama that it’s just his problem and he shouldn’t worry about it. Kageyama relents, even though he thinks being stalked sounds like a decently serious issue.

The barbeque place is really good, but Kageyama is only half-paying attention to the food, since he is more focused on Hinata. Hinata asks him about his major, and Kageyama admits, somewhat reluctantly, that he’s undeclared. But Hinata says he is as well. Both of them are kind of directionless, it seems. Although, Hinata still, perhaps to a fault, thinks it would be cool to just play volleyball forever. Kageyama imagines, though, with his drive, maybe he could.

Hinata does think, however, that this kinesiology class he signed up for on a whim is kind of interesting. And then he clarifies that by ‘interesting’ he means ‘it’s easy.’ Kageyama is mostly unsurprised that they’re both still such terrible students. College seems a little wasted on them. But he confesses that he’s been planning to go to career counseling for a while; he just hasn’t made the appointment yet.

The finish their dinner and Hinata starts walking again, and this time Kageyama doesn’t ask where to because he’s afraid of where their time together ends.

They end up at the hotel Hinata is staying at, at the room he’s sharing with Kozume, who isn’t back from wherever the rest of the team is celebrating yet. “I should probably get going,” Kageyama says, reluctantly. More than reluctantly. It takes all of his willpower to force out those words. But he’s not sure how late the trains run in Osaka. He didn’t think he’d be staying longer than the first few matches. And he doesn’t want to get stranded.

“What the hell? You’re not staying for the whole tournament?”

“I wasn’t planning to…”

Hinata goes and flops over on one of the beds, leaving Kageyama standing awkwardly by the door. “You should just stay here,” he says, as if it doesn’t mean anything.

Thud, goes Kageyama’s heart.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Why.”

“B-Because.”

“‘Because’ isn’t a good reason, stupid Kageyama. Come on. Kenma won’t care. And the couch is pretty comfortable!”

The discomfort, which had been surprisingly minimal for the whole time they were together, mounts now. “I don’t want to get behind on homework.”

Hinata is quiet. Kageyama is watching him intently, looking for signs of anything changing, but he’s just spread out over the bed, his feet barely touching the floor. He waits, as if he knows what’s going to happen. And then, almost what he expects—Hinata sits up, looking solemn. “I never believed that you really became so studious. I never believed that’s why you quit volleyball.”

Kageyama doesn’t say anything. It’s a lie, after all, and he doesn’t know how to cover it. It was the best one he had. Hinata’s just as much of an idiot as he is, but apparently it’s weak enough that even he can see through it.

Hinata stands up and walks over to him. “Kageyama. Tell me why you quit. The real reason.”

“…That was the real reason,” Kageyama mutters.

“ _No it fucking wasn’t!_ ” Hinata shouts, and it’s just like it was the last time they spoke.

He almost wishes Hinata would just punch him again and that could be the end of their reunion.

“We lost, you know. The first year setter did his best, but…he wasn’t you. We lost in the first round.”

Kageyama swallows. “I know.”

“And then you never talked to me again. And then you showed up to this tournament. Do you know…how much that pisses me off?” Hinata is moving towards him, and he finds himself backing up towards the door. Surprising that he should be intimidated by someone so small.

“Why have you been acting like everything is normal, then?” he demands, feeling desperate. He’s pressed against the door now, and Hinata is achingly close to him.

“What else was I supposed to do?! You stopped telling me what was going on a long time ago. How the hell am I supposed to do anything other than pretend everything is normal when you won’t tell me what the problem is?!” Hinata punches the door, making him jump.

Kageyama is…tired of hiding it. It seems like Hinata already has some kind of hatred for him. What would be a little more? Does it even matter at this point? When would they ever see each other again, anyway? This could be the end he’s been looking for, if he could just say… He swallows again. His heart is beating slowly again, and he’s sure if it says it, it’ll stop. If he could just make the words come out…

“I like you, dumbass!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess this is going to end up being three chapters! I'm still worried about how angsty this is...
> 
> All the M-rated stuff is going in the next chapter! P:


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was so hard to write both because I'm awful at porn and because mY ROOMMATES KEPT WALKING BEHIND MY COMPUTER AS I WAS TRYING TO DESCRIBE DICKS. I am horribly shy about what I write and also they're all male so I don't want them seeing it and I had to keep minimizing the window until they left.
> 
> I probably should have just gone upstairs /o\
> 
> Thanks so much for all the comments so far! I hope you enjoy the last chapter!

“I like you, dumbass!”

The words are out. His eyes are closed, and his entire body is tense.

Hinata is silent for a full minute. Kageyama thinks he it would be pretty great if he could die right now.

Hinata’s voice is much quieter when he finally breaks the silence. “Why are you… What…” He sounds confused.

Kageyama still can’t speak or open his eyes. He’s hot from the neck up, and he’s going to have marks in his hands from his fingernails.

“You quit volleyball because of me?”

He forces himself to look at Hinata, to face that voice that sounds so broken. He looks smaller than he ever has. “I just…didn’t want to be around you when you…when we couldn’t…” He shakes his head and presses his lips together.

Hinata grabs him by the shoulders suddenly. “Don’t just decide what ‘we’ could or couldn’t do by yourself! Part of ‘we’ is me! I can’t believe you! What a horrible reason to quit volleyball!” He shakes him hard with every sentence.

“Shut the hell up! You don’t know how much it sucked—how much it _still_ sucks—” Hinata leans forward into Kageyama’s chest, gripping his shoulders tighter than ever, wrinkling the fabric of his shirt. “What—”

“You’re stupid…” His voice is muffled, and Kageyama can feel his breath on his chest through his clothes. “I hate you so much. Even if it sucked, you should have stayed. Even if you thought we couldn’t be that, being friends is better than nothing. That’s what I thought, anyway.”

Kageyama’s heart thuds right against where Hinata’s pressing into him. “What do you mean?”

“You still don’t get it? I’m saying I liked you too!”

He feels like he’s been hit hard in the head, and he’s reeling from it; he’s dizzy, disoriented. “You…did?” He thinks his voice sounds disappointed at the past tense.

“Or do! Whatever!”

Is this real? Hinata feels real, pressed against him. And warm. For the first time, he reaches his arms up and puts them around Hinata. They’d only ever hugged a handful of times, after winning games and stuff, but everyone did that. This is so different. Kageyama is trying to think of something to say, anything to move forward from this place he was stuck in. But maybe if he can’t, that won’t be so bad. It’s a good place to be stuck in, between Hinata and the door, where his body feels light and tingly. His head is rushing, but empty of thoughts.

Hinata pulls back before he does, and Kageyama has to actively make his arms loosen up so he can get back, because he doesn’t want him to move. He notices Hinata’s eyes are closed in the half-second before his lips are pressed against Kageyama’s chin.

Well, that’s not quite how he imagined this. And he certainly has imagined it.

Hinata pulls back immediately, face bright red. “Y-You got taller again!” he accuses.

Kageyama wasn’t expecting that. “In the last two minutes?! Don’t make excuses for your shitty aim!”

“Shut up! I’ve never done this before!”

Kageyama doesn’t reply, but kisses him back instead—on the mouth, this time.

This is much better. Than Hinata’s attempt, and everything he ever imagined. His lips are just as warm and soft as the rest of him, and when one of his hands move from his shoulder to his neck, he shivers. Hinata opens his mouth just slightly and slides the tip of his tongue against Kageyama’s bottom lip. Kageyama opens his mouth too and suddenly Hinata’s tongue thrusts against his. It’s not a particularly skilled move, but he likes it anyway. It’s not as if he’s likely to be any better at this, since he’s never had any practice.

Their kiss turns ferocious so easily, and neither of them minds. Really, they aren’t so good at this, but lack of ability doesn’t quell their enthusiasm or passion. The kiss is all tongue from both sides, maybe because of years (actually, Kageyama doesn’t know how far back Hinata’s stretch reaches) of pent-up longing.

Or maybe it’s not just longing. Both of them are making quiet moans against the other’s lips, which makes the experience lewder than it needs to be. But Hinata’s hand is moving down from his neck to tug at his scarf.

“Ack—idiot, you’re choking me!”

“Sorry!” He takes the opportunity of their flushed faces being broken apart to unwind Kageyama’s scarf from his neck in a slightly gentler way. And then he drops it and kisses him again.

Hinata starts backing up, pulling Kageyama along with him. They move across the room, awkwardly both because of the strain of the their height difference and because Hinata’s things are thrown around the room, just like they had been in his old room in Miyagi, and likely how they are in his dorm at his school. He almost trips over one of his own shirts, but Kageyama catches him. And then, he thinks it might just be easier to carry him, so he moves his arms down to Hinata’s waist, tightens his hold, and lifts him.

Hinata squeaks in surprise, but otherwise allows himself to be carried the remaining few feet to the bed. Kageyama drops him down in front of it, and he lies down, pulling Kageyama with him. They meet at the lips again, with more intent than before.

Kageyama’s heart is pounding steadily, and he can still hardly believe this is happening. Maybe it isn’t, but like hell if he’s going to back out of this fantasy now.

Hinata swipes his hat off of him and throws it across the room, adding to the mess. They’re both without their nonessential clothing now, since Hinata had discarded his jacket and scarf as soon as they got back, but Kageyama wonders…just how far Hinata is intending to go. He can feel his face going red again thinking about it. Now that he’s gotten this far, he doesn’t want to mess up by moving too fast. After all, they’ve only just confessed to each other.

Still, he’s wanted this for a long time, and now that he’s gotten a taste, he’s greedy.

On edge again, he shifts his weight to one hand and rests the other on Hinata’s hip. There is no objection. Okay. Nervously, he slips his fingertips under the hem of his shirt. Even though there’s no objection to this either, he’s too anxious to do anything else, despite desperately wanting to.

Hinata, though, isn’t. He grabs Kageyama’s wrist and pulls it up, forcing his hand to slide up his stomach. He bites at his lip, and Kageyama moans, pressing his hand against his firm, flat body. Hinata grunts and keens up into him, easing his tension. He hasn’t fucked up yet.

Kageyama’s hand moves further up in Hinata’s shirt, bunching it up around his ribs as his fingertips find a nipple. He rubs it gently, testing its sensitivity, and Hinata moans back at him. His hands move under the back of Kageyama’s shirt, blunt nails tickling his skin pleasantly.

Hinata’s keeps making sounds as Kageyama plays with his nipples. He’s incredibly turned on, and is doing his best to keep his hips a bit above Hinata’s so he won’t notice how hard he is. But his erection begins to border on painful, and if he’s going to have to stop, he needs to do it soon.

“Hinata,” he says, and the name comes out smushed against Hinata’s energetic kisses. “Stop, dammit!”

He stops, looking worried. “W-What?”

Kageyama can feel his ears going red again. “I need to know… How f-far do you… I mean, we can stop whenever—”

“I don’t want to stop,” Hinata interrupts him.

Kageyama is further reddening, which Hinata interprets incorrectly.

“U-Unless you want to stop!”

“I don’t!”

“Okay, then!”

“Okay!” Kageyama sits up and pulls off his shirt in a hurry, as if doing it faster will make him feel less awkward about it. Hinata also slips his arms through his sleeves and tugs his shirt over his head. “Sh-Should we—”

Hinata’s fingers start working at the button of his pants before he can even answer. He watches them and tries to decide if he’s just imagining Hinata’s hands are shaking. What he’s not imagining is that Hinata is also tenting in his sweatpants, so he supposes he didn’t have to worry about being the only one who wanted to do this. If that wasn’t obvious already from Hinata saying he did.

There’s some struggle to get him out of his pants entirely, but they manage, and he’s quick to pull off Hinata’s pants too. He doesn’t want to be the only one naked. But then he’s not, and it feels so good to not be straining against his pants anymore.

“I don’t have any condoms. Or lube,” Hinata says suddenly. “I mean, there’s lotion somewhere, but—”

Kageyama shakes his head a little more vigorously than he needs to. “We can do something else.”

“Okay…then…can you use your hand? I’ve always kind of wanted… I really like your hands.”

Kageyama nods, feeling warmth in his chest. He trails his hand down Hinata’s stomach again before gingerly wrapping his hand around his erection. He tightens his grip to something a bit firmer, mimicking the pressure he likes on his own cock, and Hinata gives a little gasp. He starts to move his hand and Hinata lifts his rolls his hips up, eyes drifting closed, fingers twisting into the sheets.

The sight Hinata writing and gently bucking up into his hand is almost overwhelming. But he wants him to come even more undone than he already is. He’s lying with his head to the side, uttering soft moans every few seconds. Kageyama leans down over him and bites gently at the exposed skin on his neck.

“Nn…Kageyama…”

“What?” He couldn’t tell if that was a good ‘Nn Kageyama’ or a bad ‘Nn Kageyama.’

“Nothing, keep going.”

He sucks at the spot on Hinata’s neck and moves his hand and soon Hinata is even louder than before. Kageyama’s harder than he’s ever been in his life, but he’ll wait until Hinata comes if it means he can focus all his energy on making him moan. He swipes his thumb over Hinata’s dripping tip and quickens his pace, making him moan Kageyama’s name again. He works his mouth over the already half-formed hickey on his neck, thrilled at being able to finally mark up the boy he’s wanted for so long. People will know. He thinks briefly that he should have asked if it was okay to do this, but it’s too late for that now anyway, so he’s not stopping.

“Ahh—Kageyama, I’m…almost—Nng—”

Kageyama backs off his neck, wanting to see his face when he comes. Hinata’s eyes open and he looks up at Kageyama, hips thrusting a little desperately, breath coming in ragged. He makes a little choked noise that turns into another moan and Kageyama can feel something warm and wet against his hand. He keeps moving it until he’s sure Hinata’s done, then kisses him gently on lips.

He moves back off Hinata to give him some space to recover, and now that he’s done he can’t resist touching himself. He moves his hand lazily, listening to Hinata’s breathing growing more even.

After a minute, Hinata suddenly sat up and scrambled over to him. “Hey, cut that out! I have to do it!”

“What are you talking about? You don’t have to do anything.”

“But I want to, so shut up and let me!”

“F-Fine, it’s not like I’m gonna stop you!”

Hinata settles between his legs, looking surprising alert. Usually Kageyama feels tired after he comes, but he supposes Hinata’s always had tons of energy. He takes Kageyama’s cock in his hand and runs it up and down a couple of times. But then he moves forward and licks across the head, and Kageyama goes red again.

“You don’t have to—”

“I want to.” And that’s the end of that conversation, because Hinata suddenly has his dick in his mouth and is sucking on him and _holy shit_ , Kageyama never could have imagined this feeling. He groans and his hips twitch up before he can stop them.

Luckily he doesn’t trigger Hinata’s gag reflex, but he knows he’ll have to make a conscious effort not to move so easily.

Hinata starts moving up and down, and the feel of his lips rubbing against Kageyama’s erection makes him moan again, and he can’t stop as the pleasure only builds in him. Hinata’s hand also moves around him where he can’t get his mouth. Mostly, Kageyama isn’t thinking at all, just feeling the amazing heat and pressure of Hinata’s mouth, but part of him is frustrated because he knows he’s not going to last as long as Hinata did and he’ll probably count that as a win.

He supposes they are still doing that.

Maybe that’s why Hinata wanted to do it this way.

But he can’t make it matter to him as much as it normally would because of how good it feels. He really has to pay attention to the movement of his body so he doesn’t choke Hinata, but it gets so much harder the closer he gets to release.

“Hi—nata—stop,” he gasps. Hinata looks up at him and gives one more hard suck before pulling off with a small ‘pop.’

He works his hand vigorously over Kageyama’s cock, bringing him closer and closer until he also comes all over Hinata’s hand, biting his lip and groaning in his throat.

Hinata reaches for the box of tissues sitting on the stand next to the bed and tugs a few out before passing the box to Kageyama so they can wipe their various fluids off themselves.

“Next time, I’ll swallow it,” he says, grinning like an idiot.

“Don’t say embarrassing stuff like that out loud!” Kageyama chastises, swatting at Hinata, who ducks.

“Your reflexes have gotten all slow, ha ha!”

“Shut up,” is all Kageyama says. He’s feeling tired. He moves over to Hinata and lies down to the side of him. Hinata’s hands go to his hair and move through the strands, and another thrill goes through Kageyama’s spine at the pleasant, gentle tickling of it.

“Hey, Kageyama.”

“What?”

“If I win tomorrow, will you toss to me?”

“…Yeah.”

But privately, he thinks he’ll toss to Hinata no matter what. Now, nothing’s stopping him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You were all worried for nothing, heh.

**Author's Note:**

> Also, I have a confession. I have a Japanese friend whose last name is Tamara. He first name isn't Naomi, and this character is nothing like her, but...yeah!
> 
> (Also, do not worry about the OC. Look at the pairing. Shh. It will all be alright.)


End file.
